What do we do when we are hurting?

Most of the time, when I feel a big burden on my life, I get sad and grumpy.

I know that I am not supposed to do this, but supposed to has very little with who I am at my worst moments. When I feel a heavy burden because I feel betrayed, or let down, or like a failure or a hundred other broken things that bring me down, I tend to be at less than my best.

I know what I ought to be and to do.

When I am in that broken place, I ought to turn to Jesus. He says to me, "Come to me, all you who are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." I know thats what I should do. I know from experience the few times I have done it that it works - I really do feel better after going to God with my pain and my shame.

So why don't I do it every time? Don't I want to feel better?

Who are we and what do we do when we feel bottomed out?

Knowing About God or Knowing God

So what's the difference between these two things? How do I know if I know God? How do I know if I love Him?

A short time ago, I spent an hour with my wife and children flying a kite. Why would I do that? Because it was terrific fun, and because I love them. I don't want to be a stranger to my kids or allow my relationship with my wife to drift, so I invest the time.

So is it any fun at all to spend time with God? When other things demand my time, do I greive because I can't be with Him? Does it ever worry me that I'm starting to feel like a stranger to Him or He seems strange to me? Do I enjoy wasting time with Him?

When I talk with my daughter, she says some of the funniest things. I love talking to her and holding her on my lap. She will lean over and say "I want to tell you a secret, Daddy." And then she will whisper in my ear, "I love you, Daddy."

Do I like to pray? Is it a sense of duty that sends me to my knees, or do I look forward to it? Do I feel like I am getting to spend time with a loved family member when I spend time in the quiet with God?

Sometimes I wonder if I know Him.

I know a lot about Him. I can explain His behavior and His character to people who have not heard and do not know. I can explain His great actions, and I can help people to look for Him in their lives. I can even see Him in mine.

But do I know Him? Do I love Him?

I want to. Sometimes, I think I am getting to know Him. But I do wonder sometimes if I will ever come to feel like I am any more than a nervous beginner in a relationship with Him.

I am glad to be known by Him. I want to come to know Him.